(continued from this post)
We looked through the windows of the Spanish Galleon, and we saw that all the downstairs lights were off and it was lit entirely by candles and the open fire. Obviously they had had a power cut, but I remarked how nice it looked, and wondered aloud why more pubs didn’t do this, and we decided to head in and enjoy the unusual atmosphere. We were told that we could only be served at the upstairs bar (fair enough, the tills are electric) and so, drinks got, we headed back downstairs, where I was told by the manager to “be careful because of Health and Safety reasons”. I asked what he meant, and he explained to me about the danger due to the electricity supply being out, in response to which I asked him how he thought pubs were lit before the spread of electricity and invention of the incandescent lightbulb. He had no response to that, because there isn’t one that wouldn’t have made him look an even sillier than he already did, but it was transparently obvious that he was itching to close the pub as soon as possible.
I really hate that this idiotic “stop everything” response to every minor little setback has become so widespread. The integrity of the load-bearing structure of the building hadn’t been compromised to the verge of collapse by a meteorite impact, there wasn’t an axe-wielding madman running amok, they hadn’t even had a rather mundane gas leak; there was simply a bit less light than usual, a situation to which the human eye is perfectly capable of reacting, as it has adapted to our needs over hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. Long before we learned how to harness the power of electricity less than two hundred years ago, our Palaeolithic ancestors lived in caves lit entirely by naked flames, going on to domesticate animals and launch large scale agriculture; the great civilisations from Egypt, China, Persia, Greece and Rome rose to dominate the Old World, with the Olmecs, Aztecs, Mayans and Inca doing so in the New World, and all of them without the aid of the light switch; great artists such as da Vinci or Michelangelo, composers such as Mozart or Beethoven, poets such as Shakespeare or John Donne, produced visual, auditory and literary masterpieces of a beauty and influence perhaps still unparalleled today; we perfected everything from the manufacture of steel to the Jacquard loom, from the invention of the printing press to John Harrison’s clocks. All of this and so much more was done without the aid of a single kilowatt-hour from a socket in the wall, and despite the undoubted comforts and benefits it brings us now, our presence here today seems to me like pretty compelling proof that we are not actually terminally imperilled by that absence. I may personally fall short of those great achievements of the past, but I’m pretty sure that I can still manage to sit down and drink a fucking pint of beer by candlelight without exposing myself to the risk of grievous injury or death. Nevertheless, with a depressing inevitability, the pub closed shortly afterwards at around 5.30pm, and we had to leave.
Such a decision will have cost the pub a whole Sunday evening’s worth of takings, and similarly ludicrous decisions taken up and down the country in the name of the hard hat and hi-vis vest brigade must collectively cost the economy billions of pounds per year. And why? Because so many grown adults have been brainwashed into being terrified of their own shadow. Sometimes I just want to take all the world’s H&S wombles, line them up against a wall and shoot them for the good of mankind — sadly in this day and age, I wouldn’t be allowed to do so without completing a 286-page risk assessment form, in which I would have to address the dangers associated with discharging firearms loaded with live ammunition in the direction of unarmoured human beings, then get the form signed in dodecuplicate by persons ranging from the Dalai Lama to a hermit who lives in the Outer Hebrides, before passing a Department of Education approved course on the correct way to use a bulldozer for the perfectly filled mass grave. Seriously though, something needs to be done about the crippling effect of all the nonsensical red tape, the shady no-win-no-fee lawyers who perpetuate the problem by bringing frivolous cases, and the defective legal system where either the judges all too often side with the litigants, or defendants are forced to concede simply because it is cheaper for them to pay out a sum rather than pay the costs of a court case. I don’t often find myself agreeing with David Cameron, but people need to start taking back responsibility for their own actions, rather than always trying to blame someone else for every slight misfortune, and the compensation culture we are currently enduring needs to be dismantled for the long term benefit of everyone. And….. rant over!
We moved on and found some food to eat a fantastic chinese, where we had starters, mains and drinks for two, all for the bargain amount of £23. We slowly mooched back up over the common, enjoying the fantastic view of the stars in the clear sky, while trying not to shiver too much in the cold. Monday came and, being a free day for both of us, once again we found ourselves heading up to Blackheath for a long walk, a lovely late lunch in Giraffe (btw, strongly recommending the apple crumble for two as a dessert for anyone who goes) and then a leisurely evening stroll around the wonderful Cator Estate, looking at all the lovely houses we can’t yet afford. A beautiful end to a fantastic weekend, and I’m now looking forward to travelling to Dublin in a couple of days to bowl in the Irish Open.
I’m quite literally having the time of my life at the moment! 
